by Annie Scholl
At the age of seven, Shannon Luders-Manuel knew she wanted to be a writer.
“It was never a question,” says Luders-Manuel, now 48. “I just loved words and what they could do. I loved books, the cadence of words, the magic of how they could transport you. I was always in my own world and also very open. I wanted to share my world with others. I always wanted to do that.”
Growing up biracial—the daughter of a Black father and white mother who separated when she was a preschooler—Luders-Manuel often felt out of place. Raised by her mother and white extended family in mostly white communities in California, she turned to books and writing to understand where she fit. She began keeping diaries at a young age, using them to process her thoughts and experiences. Her grandmother, who had once dreamed of being a writer herself, told her never to throw them away—a piece of advice Luders-Manuel followed, even while she was once married to a minimalist.
Her father, who struggled with alcohol and spent long periods out of touch, remained a complicated and compelling presence. Years later, her journals, along with letters he had written to her, became the foundation of The One Who Loves You: A Memoir of Growing Up Biracial in a Black and White World (Lawrence Hill Books, February 2025), which explores race, family, love, grief and the search for belonging.
Luders-Manuel completed her memoir before her health took a sharp downturn. In 2023, she was hospitalized with sepsis, which triggered a recurrence and worsening of what she only recently learned is chronic fatigue syndrome, an illness she’d unknowingly lived with for decades.
“I was just grateful the edits were done before the chronic fatigue came back full force by 2024,” she says. “It would’ve been hard to work on the book.”
She also had to overcome other obstacles on her path to publication. During a time when many in publishing were losing their jobs, her editor was let go and she was assigned another. Over the course of a 15-month delay in the publishing process, Luders-Manuel continued refining her manuscript with support from her critique group.
“Honestly, the critique group is what made the book what it is,” she says. “They gave super detailed feedback.”
Luders-Manuel speaks with The Sunlight Press from her new home in Seattle following a recent move from her home state of California.
What led you to write your memoir?
I always wanted to write about my life—about being mixed race, about my high school friends. I tried fiction, YA, screenplays. But one of the final chapters of my book, which was about my dad dying, was one of the first I wrote. I wrote it after college to make sense of the hardest two weeks of my life. I was inspired by The Pilot’s Wife (by Anita Shreve; Little, Brown and Company, 1998), not the story, but the style. I also wanted the world to know about my dad. He wasn’t famous, but he felt special to me. I didn’t want him to slip away.
What do you hope readers take from your book?
I wanted to write something that people could read and think, ‘me too.’ It wasn’t so much to educate or open people’s eyes, but to share something they might relate to. Maybe they also have a parent with substance use disorder, or are mixed race, or lost a parent young. I love reading a book and thinking, wow, I never had the words to express that, or someone really gets it. Maybe I can grow from it too.
What are you hearing from readers?
I included letters my dad wrote me, and I’m hearing from women whose semi-absent fathers also wrote them letters. They say the letters sound familiar in their undertones. That’s comforting. I never would have thought his letters were similar to those of other fathers in that way—where they are wanting to overemphasize their role in our upbringing. For instance, my dad once said in a letter that ‘no father and daughter could have been closer.’ I’m also hearing that my vulnerability keeps readers engaged and makes them feel like they’re getting to know a friend—like the girl next door who also happens to write poetically.
How did you decide on the title and structure (using book titles as chapter titles)?
The title I originally had was Black Prince, which was my dad’s nickname for himself, but my editor wanted to change it, since the book is about more than just my dad. She had me go through my dad’s letters and that’s how we found the new title, The One Who Loves You. It can also mean finding love for myself. The chapter titles —I didn’t want them to be boring. At first, I picked them based on the book titles alone, but someone in my critique group said they should match the chapter content. That was great advice, so I changed them. It was an arduous process but worth it.
How did your diaries help you when writing the book?
I had about 30 diaries over a 10-year period. They were so helpful because I have a bad memory. I was extremely specific in my diaries. There are moments I completely forgot about until I read them again in my diaries. The challenge was deciding what to include and making sure what I included was literary in tone and not just teenage whining.
How did your mom respond to the book, and how did you navigate writing about family?
I showed her an advance reader’s copy in December, and the book came out in February. I knew it would be emotionally challenging for her…. It was harder than I expected, even though we’d talked about everything in it. She didn’t know the extent of my unhappiness with my stepdad, and we both tend to worry what people will think. But we had a lot of conversations, and she’s always been self-reflective. In the end, I think it’s been a positive experience and helped our relationship.
Were you afraid to be vulnerable on the page?
Not so much. I’ve always been an open book—sometimes too much of one. The hardest part was talking about the medical condition I had during my marriage to my ex-husband. But I included it because it was a big part of our story, and because if someone out there has it and doesn’t know what it is, I’d want them to be informed. There’s such a lag in women’s health and it’s so hard to talk about.
What advice would you give writers afraid to write about people they love—or about themselves?
Don’t make it a revenge book. I painted everyone in a multifaceted light, including myself. I didn’t make myself the hero of the book, but I worried I came across like everyone had wronged me. People have told me I didn’t do that, and that has meant a lot.
If you had read an interview like this before writing your book, what would have been most helpful to you?
To know that it can be a long road, but it can be a successful road—and to just keep at it. You don’t need tons of money. You don’t need tons of schooling. You do need community. You do need to work on your craft. You do need dedication. You do need to give yourself grace, for sure. There’s a good chance that it’ll take longer than you think, but in the end, it’s worth the journey.
Image: “Vintage Typewriter” by Memphis CVB via Flickr
Hi Shannon,
Good for you! You have followed your dreams and actually wrote this book to let others know about your life’s experiences. This took a lot of courage and confidence. I want to congratulate you and wish you the very best with your writing career down the road a bit.
Rosemary Luders Kelly 🙂